Springboks make me drink too much

Went out last night with the wife to Vivat Bachus - they had a South African wine tasting/meal thingy. Very enjoyable,

The night started out at the bar they have there, with the winemakers all the way over from South Africa giving out the wine at the wine tasting. Like most wine tasting I've been to, nobody spits it out, so by the time we'd done there and headed down to the restaurant, we were pretty battered already. Dinner was 5 - yes 5 course, each one with a different wine. So that's 5 meals and 5 glasses of wine. Here's how it went:

1st course:

Already feeling a little 'lubricated'. The food was chilled watercress soup with roast scallops and chorizo oil, accompanied by a rather nice white wine from the Tokara vineyard.

2nd course:

Starting to feel 'mostly lubricated'. We get pan fried Froi Gras with sweet corn puree and a glass of Hamilton Russell Pinot Noir. Not a big Froi Gras fan - tastes a little like warm meaty blancmange.

My wife looks extremely pretty today.

3rd course:

Roast Springbok with Risotto and some Vanilla stuff with a glass of Thelema cabernet sauvignon.

The woman from the Hamilton vineyard comes over to say hello and asks if we're enjoying our evening. 'Hell yeah!' cries the wife. I tell her I've never eaten Springbok before but I've seen one on TV.

My wife looks out of focus.

4th course:

Cheese board and some red stuff in a glass. Think it's a Syrah - tastes very nice. Most of my cheeses smell funny and I'm sure one of them just moved. The Chef comes over to ask how we're liking it so far. I tell him I saw a Springbok once on the tele - I think David Attenborough was there. He says that's very nice. My wife throws cheese at him.

5th course:

Ever wondered what wine gums and real flowers taste like? Well I no longer need wonder as that's what was on the table just next to my head. They bring us some more wine which is either in a very small glass, or my hands are ginormous. The waiter asks if I'm OK and could I please ask my wife to stop dancing on the table and trying to get everyone to sing along to Jay Zs 'Can I get a'. I tell him I saw a Springbok once on David Attenborough, and has he got any peanuts?

Somehow managed to get the tube home without falling asleep and waking up miles away at 2am.

I am one classy guy.

Budget day

3 days to Marathon day - and Mrs Block is getting pretty sick of pasta right now...
I made Meatballs and spaghetti last night and it was pretty awesome even if I do say so myself.
I've been tasked with organising the godless hordes that will descend upon our house on Saturday from the four corners of the midlands. We've got 7 coming so far, with another 2 on Sunday. I hope they're either bringing beds or can sleep standing up.
Not sure what to do for breakfast for everyone on Sunday, I'll see if I can find Jesus' recipe for cod in breadcrumbs - he managed to feed 5000 with that one, so it should do the trick.

Anyways, we had the budget yesterday where the chancellor Alistair Darling (or comedy eyebrows man as he's more commonly known) did his usual trick of raising taxes and telling us that he got all the figures wrong last time, and we're a lot more screwed than he thought. He then tells us that there's no reason to panic, as this time next year we'll all be millionaires - so pretty much the same things he said last year. It all gets a bit complicated to follow, so I've listed the main points here for you:

• Cigarettes - price is going up - given that there's a looming problem with people living to a ripe old age and the government worrying about how they're going to pay for everyones pension, the smart thing would be to put the tax down. People would smoke more which means more tax overall, and die before getting their pension, it's win win!
• Alcohol - see above. (Is it just me, or does he seem to have it in for me?)
• Income tax - anyone earning more than £150,000 has to pay 5p more tax. Apparently this is going to plug the £93Squillion hole.
• Economy - The British economy will shrink this year by 3.5%. But next year it'll grow by 4256% and we'll all be driving Porsches.
• Petrol - Going up to £942 a gallon so we won't be able to afford to drive the Porches anywhere.
• Borrowing - National debt now has so many zeros after it that the calculator broke - but they're going to have a whip round at the weekend so that's alright then

And that's pretty much it. There was some other crap about tax credits and mortgages, but seeing as I have neither, I turned over to watch 'Deal or no Deal' instead

The miracle that is artic roll

Guess what's back - yes, the artic roll. I had one yesterday in fact!
For those of you unfamiliar with this miracle in a box - it's sponge cake wrapped around ice-cream and jam. They used to sell them by the truck load back in the 80's but they stopped making them when demand dropped off. Now we're in a credit crunch, and everyone wants cheap and imaginative ways to eat sugar, they've started up again.
I'm pretty sure as a child you used to cook these. Apparently the sponge cake acts as an insulator and stops the ice cream from melting, however, I can't find a recipe anywhere that involves putting the whole thing in the oven, so I'm not sure if I made it up...
It is pretty amazing stuff though - well it was when I was a kid, the one I had yesterday tasted like carpet. I could never figure out as a child why they didn't use sponge cake more widely as an insulator. Surely if it can keep ice-cream frozen for 20 minutes in an oven, it would make a great fire retardant. We should all be putting it up instead of wall paper to fireproof our homes. In fact, I might give that a go this evening...

Anyways, it's Tuesday again, my least favourite day of the week. I cheered myself by applying for a new job this morning - anything beats the one I have.

I want that job

Well, it's Monday. Again. Fun, fun, fun. Oh well, one day nearer the weekend I guess.

I've actually been quite busy at work today, which at least makes the time go quicker. Though It's still a shit job that's killing me one day at a time.

Never mind though, I've seen the perfect job (well, my wife spotted the perfect job and emailed me the link). Slight problem is that it's being advertised in 18 countries and there's only 1 vacancy. The job title is 'The Best Job in the World' - and no, it's got nothing to do with Kiera Knightley (excuse me whilst I drool for a while). It's a caretaker for the islands of the great barrier reef in Australia (see pic). Basically you have to feed the fish, write a blog, and er, that's pretty much it. It pays around £70,000 a year and is for a six month contract. You also get a rent free 3 bedroom house.

Details are here: http://www.islandreefjob.com/ if anyone else fancies applying.

Anyways, just sat on my ass at the moment watching 'celebrity come dine with me'. Great program, gonna set one up with some friends I think (though it won't be for a grand obviously). For those who don't know it, 5 people take turns in hosting a dinner party for the other 4. They then all score the night out of 10, and the one with the highest score at the end of the week wins £1000. A good excuse to get pissed and have someone else cook if you ask me.

Not much else happening in my life today. Went for a run yesterday - 4 and a half miles, couldn't feel my knees, pissed off when I got back - the usual - so sorry this entry isn't full of car chases and explosions.

Also had a cracking idea for a new book. Gotta get this one written first though, and something for the blog.

Oh, and thanks to Amanda before I forget, for sending me the link to the mysterious electric cigarette of mysterious wonder. Or something like that.

Quote for today:

'Several excuses are always less convincing than one.'

Scratch scratch scratch

Me and scratchy (my pen) have been busy. Me and scratchy have finished chapter 11. Onwards and upwards to chapter 13 (ch 12 is a long story).

Just been watching Something For The Weekend (foody type TV show in the UK). They had an old clip of Keith Floyd in Madrid eating carbs and wrong fish. Now I don't know whether this is just Floyd, but according to him, the Spaniards spend most of the morning eating aforementioned carbs and wrong fish whilst getting slowly pissed before passing out and calling it a siesta. When they wake up, they just eat and drink some more before it's time to throw up and go to sleep.
That Floyd guy must have a liver the size of a small car, and I should move to Spain.
And is it just me, or does Mel B not look anything like Mel B anymore?

Anyways, thanks to Ksquared for the half-ass line. I'll get to work as soon as I get back from shopping.
I hate shopping in London. It's just so damn busy. There's a credit crunch on people, you're not supposed to be spending money! What's with everyone heading into town on a Saturday and wondering mindlessly in zig zags across the pavement before stopping for no apparent reason. It's like Day of the Dead out there people, Day of the fucking Dead.
And as for tourists, don't even get me started. The London underground is a mode of public transport to get people from one place to another, it is not a tourist attraction! You're not supposed to stop at the entrance to the platform, thereby blocking everyone else, so you can take a picture of the tunnel. I mean, come on, it is quite literally a hole in the fucking ground.
And why, despite the signs every 10 feet on the escalator telling folks to stand on the right, do they feel the urge to stand on the left?
There's a solution here involving cattle prods.

Thanks to Amanda for the 'encouraging' words about non-smoking. What the hell is an electric cigarette? Maybe it's because I'm a guy, but you add electricity to something and it just gets 10 times better. Now you're telling me they make electric cigarettes? That's just another reason not to quit - where do I get me one of those?

And the quote from yesterday about moving a body is attributed to Alexei Sayle. He's a slightly surreal British comedian who never used to be very funny, though he has got better with age. Well, that's my opinion anyway.