Friday, 3 July 2009

The blue-rinse of death

What is it with people who stand in front of me when I'm running? Today it was 2 separate occasions of women with pushchairs, and 1 granny.
You should need a license to operate a pushchair, like a car or a forklift. And like driving a forklift, you'll find that having a mobile phone stuck to your ear whilst one hand digs around inside your handbag makes them unpredictable in the staring department and you're likely to skew wildly about the place severely pissing off innocent runners like me.
And old people, they're just taking the piss. I'm running along, about 20 yards from a bus stop. There's an old lady who looks about 104 sat waiting for the bus. She sees me, stands up, walks out in front of me and turns round to face to the other way just as I get there. I mean what the hell are you doing you blue-rinsed moron? You just been sat there waiting for some hapless fellow to come by so you can jump out in front of them? Luckilly, I managed to swerve into the road (good luck there wasn't an actual bus coming) and miss knocking her skyward.
But really, I don't why I bother. Sometimes, I think I should just keep running in a straight line, no swerving, no moving out of the way, like a train with a psychotic driver hell bent on destruction leaving a trail of blue rinsed hip replacements in my wake.
And I thought this running malarky was supposed to lower my blood pressure.

Anyways, here's quite possibly the most chillaxicle piece of music I know (today anyhow). So if you too feel like screaming at the world, turn up your speakers and listen to this, you'll be thinking of fluffly kittens, lost loves, and all that in no time:


Spunkychick said...

hi! after reading ur post i had to tell u that i COMPLETELY agree with stupid people while running. (and having no tolerance for the elderly...if only they could move faster than a snail's pace at anything!) a few personal favorites are the people who have their dogs on long leashes, and when i run past and the dog starts biting at me and running after me, the stupid people don't say a word to their rabid animal and i have to jump out the way and into the street to avoid getting bit! arrrg...newayz, wanted to say hello and that i hope it's okay that i 'follow' u! :)

Fran Hill said...

I'm glad you said all this. I feel better now. This is actually the only reason I don't run, because of all the silly people that might get in my way. It's got ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to do with me being too lazy, okay?

Spunkychick said...

haha....lazy, what...NEVER ;)

ya, i've got some definite bad running 'encounters.' of course there are always the cars that disregard the cross-walks, or the idiot soccer mom who almost ran me over (i fell to the ground on that one) when she was blitzing around this corner. had a half-full water bottle chucked at me, hit my arm and left a nice bruise for like weeks....and i may have to kill any people who still think yelling 'run forest run' is actually funny. haha...i may suffer from 'runner's rage' a bit :)

Hillbilly Duhn said...

They do it on purpose. Just to piss you off. That's it. End of story..