What is it with people who stand in front of me when I'm running? Today it was 2 separate occasions of women with pushchairs, and 1 granny.
You should need a license to operate a pushchair, like a car or a forklift. And like driving a forklift, you'll find that having a mobile phone stuck to your ear whilst one hand digs around inside your handbag makes them unpredictable in the staring department and you're likely to skew wildly about the place severely pissing off innocent runners like me.
And old people, they're just taking the piss. I'm running along, about 20 yards from a bus stop. There's an old lady who looks about 104 sat waiting for the bus. She sees me, stands up, walks out in front of me and turns round to face to the other way just as I get there. I mean what the hell are you doing you blue-rinsed moron? You just been sat there waiting for some hapless fellow to come by so you can jump out in front of them? Luckilly, I managed to swerve into the road (good luck there wasn't an actual bus coming) and miss knocking her skyward.
But really, I don't why I bother. Sometimes, I think I should just keep running in a straight line, no swerving, no moving out of the way, like a train with a psychotic driver hell bent on destruction leaving a trail of blue rinsed hip replacements in my wake.
And I thought this running malarky was supposed to lower my blood pressure.
Anyways, here's quite possibly the most chillaxicle piece of music I know (today anyhow). So if you too feel like screaming at the world, turn up your speakers and listen to this, you'll be thinking of fluffly kittens, lost loves, and all that in no time:
Untrue to my word
1 week ago